Wide Open Door

     “When God closes a door, he opens a window.”  I hate that saying. So I searched the web, seeking the origin of such a half-baked remark. Did it really come from the Sound of Music?  
     Yes, I know the intent is to encourage us to see the silver lining. But, really? A door is tall.  It’s easy to walk through. You remain upright as you saunter on through. But a window, it’s small. You probably have to climb, crawl and wiggle to get through it. Doesn’t sound like a logical trade to me.
      Seriously, closing a door and opening a window isn't representative of a loving God. In my opinion the saying should be “When God closes the wrong door He opens the right door” or better yet, “When God closes a window, He opens a door.”  Yes, I definitely like that better.
     A big part of my job as a hospice social worker is reminiscent therapy and facilitating a therapeutic life review (Gotta love the way everything has to sound so clinical). Basically, it’s encouraging my patient to tell his life story from the earliest childhood memory to the present. The goal is to give value to a patient’s life. No one wants to die thinking that it was all pointless and that he didn’t make a difference. So I affirm, validate, and praise. This is the best part of my job, especially when it’s a war veteran. I love thanking him for his sacrifice.
     Usually I can reframe any bad experience or crisis in a positive way, because simply surviving a tragedy takes courage and resilience. Patients often confirm the old saying, “What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.” It’s been my experience that most can look back at their lives and acknowledge that there was meaning and purpose in spite of life’s heartbreaks.
     But what happens when this isn’t the case? Mark was my most challenging patient,  challenging in that I couldn’t find any “good” in his life. Yes, I know that sounds harsh, but it’s true. He was in and out of detention centers from an early age. He grew into a drug addict, wife beater, and well, a not so pleasant man. His children described him as mean and bitter. How do you reframe that in a positive way?
     When I first met him, I have to admit, I was intimidated. Big, burley, unkempt and foul- mouthed, I think intimidation was his goal. But over the weeks, as I slowly built his trust, he began telling his story. His journey was one of many closed doors. He didn’t like windows much either. He smirked one day as he told of throwing a chair through a window in a moment of rage.
     Staring into his cold eyes, I realized his life had been a series of closed doors. Crashing a window seemed almost poetic, in a morose kind of way. I gathered my courage and asked if he ever felt trapped. He looked down and mumbled, “Still trapped.” Such an incredibly sad tragedy.
     I was able to share that no one is ever truly trapped. Yes, we can feel imprisoned, like we’re incapable of change. Mistakes and regrets may hold us captive, but by accepting our Creator's unconditional love, we can be freed.
     I would love to say that Mark accepted this agape love, but I’m not sure. He didn’t respond that day and died shortly after. What I do know is that there was an open door and he had the choice to walk through it.
     That’s the awesome thing about God. He opens the door to all, regardless of our past. The ugliness, the hurt, the pain, He washes it all away. You get a fresh, clean start through a wide open door.  Oh, and by the way, on the other side of the door is sustaining Grace and a Joy that’s indescribable. 


10 comments:

  1. Susan this wonderful. You are a great writer. I am very proud of you. Mom

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  2. I love the way you tell it like it is....So many times, I leave with a smile on my face because your words are reflecting just what I am thinking....I think we both like to tell it like it is.....

    This is a very moving post and it's obvious you are very good at your job...God has given you talents to work with dying people that most of us do not have and I appreciate all you do to help them come to peace at the end of their lives....Obviously, you have led many to Christ before they died and what a gift to them.....

    My hat is off to you and I pray God will pour His blessings on you....

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  3. Nancy,
    Maybe we should form a tell it like it is club. You can be president and I'll be your VP. I pray God blesses you as well. Have a happy weekend,
    Susan

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    1. Girlfriend, you are on....What subjects do you want to tackle?

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  4. Susan you are so right...God does close windows and opens doors. Finally someone got it right!

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  5. The tears... the tears are falling. Prayers for you, your work and ministry and for those who are imprisoned - literally and figuratively.

    Your words, your words Susan... they always touch my heart.

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  6. Thank you for your example of caring for others!! There is a reason for everything..God is our hope.
    I am your newest follower..pls follow back if you can.

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  7. Suz,
    You are such a gifted writer, and your faithful words are such a blessing to so many of us!
    Kimmy

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  8. I just found your blog while looking for an open door image for my blog post. And I feel like we are kindred spirits. I've now spent some time with your blog, am adding you to my google reader and just wanted to thank you for being one more good voice in the blogosphere.

    God bless.

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