Oodles of Grace — Ten Years Later

Ten years.

It seems almost impossible as I type those words. Ten years since I last came to this little corner of the world and put my thoughts and pieces of my life into words.

I thought about coming back many times. But life kept happening. And what a life these ten years have been. I'm not only a mom, two little love bugs call me Grammy.

There has been incredible joy and  sorrow. There have been beginnings and endings, laughter that made my sides hurt, and tears I thought might never stop. There have been prayers answered exactly as I hoped—and prayers answered in ways that left me scratching my head.

There has been love.

There has been loss.

There has been struggles and letting go.

There have been moments when I felt certain of my path, and others when I couldn't see through the fog.

And somehow, through every single bit of it, Love was there.

I have come to understand God, Divine Love, differently over these years.

Love isn't always found in the grand moments or miraculous answers we hope for. Sometimes Love quietly sits beside us in the darkness. Love gives us enough strength for one more day when we are certain we don't have it. Love places the right person in our path at exactly the right moment.

Sometimes Love doesn't change our circumstances at all. Love simply carries us through them.

And then there is Peace.

Sweet, gentle Peace.

Peace has found me in some of the most unlikely places-- during long nights, in whispered prayers, in moments of goodbye, and sometimes in the quiet after everything has fallen apart. Peace didn't always take away the hurt. Instead, Peace sat with me in it.

Looking back now, I can see things more clearly.

Love was God holding me.

Peace was Jesus walking beside me.

And Grace?

Grace was scattered everywhere.

Grace was in the people who showed up. Grace was in laughter on days when there wasn't much to laugh about. Grace was in forgiveness. Grace was in second chances.

Grace was in learning to let go of what I couldn't control.

And sometimes Grace was simply waking up in the morning and finding enough strength to put my feet on the floor and begin again.

Maybe that is why this little blog was called Oodles of Grace all those years ago.

Perhaps some part of me already knew. Life was never going to be perfect.

It was going to be beautifully, painfully, wonderfully human.

And I was going to need an awful lot of Grace.

I am not the same woman who wrote here ten years ago.Life has humbled me. Loss has changed me.

Love has stretched me. Peace has steadied me. And Grace has carried me farther than I ever imagined I could go.

There are things I understand now that I couldn't have understood ten years ago. And there are still plenty of things I don't understand at all. I'm becoming more comfortable with that.

I don't think faith means having all the answers anymore. Sometimes faith is simply trusting Love when we cannot see the way forward. Sometimes it is reaching for Peace when the world around us feels anything but peaceful. And sometimes faith is whispering, I don't understand this, Lord, but I'm still here.

So after ten years, I'm opening the windows of Oodles of Grace again.I'm dusting things off, pulling back the curtains, and letting the Light back in.

There are stories I haven't told yet. I don't know exactly where these stories will take us. But I know this: Love is still here. Peace is still walking beside us.

And if we pay attention—even in the hardest seasons of our lives—we may discover that Grace has been quietly showing up all along.

Oodles and oodles of it.

It's good to be home.